Real Life Pirates
by Verbophobic
Summary: So as I watched Jake and The Neverland Pirates (I babysit, sue me) I couldn't help but think how 1: Hook was too.. censored. I mean five year olds were beating him easily! 2: any OP pirate could destroy Hook even as he is unmoderated. 3: How can i make this show even slightly more realistic?


"Watch out! His devil fruit is-" but Law's warning came too late. The man that was attacking his crew grabbed the youngest and newest addition to Law's crew. She was a tiny thing at only four feet ten inches and with her bright orange hair and mismatched eyes she'd not only caught Law's interest, but his heart too.

"Okuru okuru no Neverland," the intruders voice rang out and the young girl gripped his hand which was around her throat choking and lifting her off the ground.

"Saikoro saikoro no- no mi - wrist," she managed to gasp out. Like the man strangling her she too had the power of a fruit. His hand was cut off at the wrist and she fell. But her fall was too long and she kept going. Law seemed to shrink then he threw his nodachi not at, but to, her.

Her eyes rolled back in her head for a second then she returned to consciousness and was falling. The hard wood of a ships deck met her back with a breath taking _thud_.

"What's this?" A sinister voice questioned, " another one of your toys, Pan?"

Gasping painfully Avery, for that was her name, looked around. She was definitely not in the grand line anymore. There was a different look to this new place. While yes it did have a much more sinister and sickening look, the air was anything but dangerous like the grand line.

The odd man that stood above and sneered down at her seemed pirate like, yet not. He almost seemed like a child in a mans body _playing_ pirate. His disgusting greasy black locks longer than her own were covered with a large red hat that had a white feather. He dressed as some of the older pirates used to. The oddest thing about this man was his hand. Or lack there of. For unplaced of his left hand was a gleaming hook.

Her eyes caught a different gleam though and the words escaped her lips, "oh shit!" She slid back as fast as she could not a moment too soon. For now, an inch in front of her crotch, was Laws nodachi. It was sheathed to the hilt in the deck, "damn that man to hell," grumbled she, "when I find him I'm gunna sheath this sword inches from _his_ crotch."

"Jake!" A young woman's voice called out. There was a desperate plea within her tone. Avery finally looked about and realized she'd landed not only on another's pirate ship, but admits a vicious battle. Bodies of men just as disgusting as the hook handed man lay about.

Behind her was a young man and a man that was just slightly older. They had to be in their late teens or possibly early twenties. The one clad in greenery was looking at her in confusion while the other with a red bandana tied around his forehead was looking toward the pirate crew with anger, hate, and hopelessness.

Looking back to the pirates she saw the young woman that had to have called out. The pink bandana that covered her pigtailed head was easy to spot. She was younger than the pirates by much and yet not much younger than those behind Avery. "Izzy," the man with the red bandana called out and in his voice Avery could hear his desperate tone.

A pirate touched the young girl and tears fell from her eyes. Avery no longer cared about much else. She would find a way back to Law somehow, she always did and if not he'd find her, so her concern now was for the girl.

Avery felt the power of her fruit thrumming though her veins, yet there was a block on it. Standing up her hand grasped the hilt if the sword and she lifted the heavy tool up. Taller than her yet she still got it out of the deck and rested it on her shoulder. "Look at this, boys," the hook handed man called out in his nasally voice. Avery hated the sound if it already, "the pipsqueak wants to play hero with a sword bigger than her."

"Girl!" The green clad man from behind her called. Avery inclined her head to show she was listening, yet she never took her eyes off of the man holding the young girls breast, "don't do anything rash. We need to save-"

Avery swiped her hand at the man that had just squeezed the girls breast and she painfully forced one if her brothers powers out. As twins they had slight usage if each others powers so she used Ravens fruit.

Bliss squirted from the mans neck and coated the girl, she didn't care though. As soon as his grip slackened she'd tried to make a run for it. A man got in her way yet the nodachi reached far enough that his heart was now a sheath. The girl made it back to her friends and Avery took a stance.

"Stay back and let me handle them." She finally looked back to the group of people behind her. A newer younger boy was grasping Izzy's legs as she hugged the boy that Avery now presumed was Jake. He was a small and chubby little guy and on his shoulder was a green colored bird.

One of the pirates charged and with a flick of her wrist the nodachi held in that single hand came out if the dead man and cut the sword arm of the new guy off. His scream of pain made the others of his crew wary. "Better stop the bleeding," Avery taunted, "you might bleed out."

He ran around and flailed his stump of an arm. Once again the nodachi rested on her shoulder and she tilted her head. Though she had a bored look on her face there was this sickening sadistic look in her eyes. The man finally collapsed to his knees. Eyes wide and face ashen. Then his eyes rolled back and he fell down, face first, dead

"See? Why does nobody listen to me? I told you to stop the bleeding yet you ran around pumping out blood faster and now look. You're dead." she mumbled with an eye roll, "alright," she called out loudly, "who's next?"

Five men ran at her and with a quick spin she decapitated them all. The hook handed man walked forward. His eyes on her sword. She stabbed it into the deck and let it sit there, "what is this? Giving up? You may have some sense after all."

"Hook!" The people behind her called. Then it was the man Jake that continued to talk, "you can't give up girl, not to him!"

"Boy," Avery said and turned her back to Hook. She showed in that single gesture that she didn't think Hook could or would be a problem. It infuriated the pirate, "how old are you? Seventeen eighteen? Are you even a pirate?" Without needing to look she side stepped Hook's attack from behind.

"Eighteen. I'm a lost boy not a pirate," he held the girl tighter, "we all are."

"Then leave the fighting up to me. The pirate," she turned to Hook and caught his hook in her bare hand, "besides until Law. Finds me I'm stuck here and what better way to waste time then killing this pathetic fools." With a jerky twist she broke the hook off of Hook.

A small fat man in a stripped shirt and matching hat ran up to her sword, "look out! He's got your sword!" The girl cried.

"Oh?" Avery asked and pushed hook back to his men, "now this, I want to see." There was humor in her eyes.

The small man managed to the sword unstuck from the deck but the moment he tried to lift it his wrist gave and he dropped it. Another man ran for it and he picked it up. But soon sweat gathered on his brow and he too dropped the sword, "what the blithering hell is wrong with you two?" Hook cried in outrage.

"But but captain-!" The fat one called, "the sword must weigh a hundred pounds!"

"Give it here you weak fools!" Avery just stood back and enjoyed watching them fail with the sword. Finally she sighed heavily and grabbed it herself and walked back to her new friends. If they were that.

"How about we get outta here? It's getting boring with these bumbling idiots." A gun fired and nicked her cheek. She jerked in surprise. Suddenly a vortex seemed to warp the air and through it Law walked. His four best crew members followed with the man who had attacked. They shackled him with what appeared to be sea stone cuffs.

Bepo, the large pilot bear jumped up and down while standing next to Jean Bart, the one who shackled and held the fruit user. Shachi and Penguin stood next to each other and gave a slight wave. Law's eyes were stormy and Avery knew he was looking at her cheek. A wind blew and Avery saw the slightest hint of blue beneath his clenched hands. Oh he was pissed. Normally he would care or mind such a shallow injury, but normally her power would have healed it by now. Yet blood still leaked and dropped down her cheek.

"Hi," meekly said Avery. The blush that coated her cheeks was hidden by dirt on one side and the blood on the other. Law walked over to her side and like she had done earlier and had been in the process of doing, he completely ignored the pirate crew.

He gripped her chin in his left hand and turned it so he got a good look at her left cheek. The blood flow had slowed nearly to a stop now. His face was dangerously close and Avery was getting a headache from trying to watch him from the corner of her eyes. She did see his eyes flick to the man in green for a second before his tongue flicked out. She felt the appendage run over her cheek and across her cut. She no longer felt the blood, only his hot saliva.

Then he pulled back and took the nodachi from her. "Kill them." He ordered his crew, save for Jean who was watching the fruit user.

The nodachi was sheathed and tossed to Bepo who caught it and continued to beat the hell outta Hooks crew. Penguin and Shachi were both double teaming and it wasn't long before the majority of Hooks crew were either dead or unconscious. "Captain!" Penguin called and Law looked away from the four non pirates. "What do you want done with him?"

Hook had been caught and in his eyes Avery saw that he knew he was done for. _tick tock. Tick tock._ "Throw him overboard!" The green clad man called, "ol' tick-tock seems to be hungry."

Curiously Avery looked over the side of the ship. Law instinctively grabbed the hood on her shirt and pulled her back. The large crocodile had jumped up and nearly snapped her head off. Law was unamused by her but still turned to his crew, "do it," he ordered and it took his three members to keep ahold of Hook and toss him over.

"Smee!" Hook cried as he tried to stay out of the gators grasp

Avery took a breath in and before her humming or song could start up Law cut her off, "if I have to hear another song from you that is in the category of annoying- you're going to be dissected." Her jaw snapped shut.

Law turned his back, "Never smile at a crocodile. No, you can't get friendly with a crocodile. Don't be taken in by his welcome grin. He's imagining how well you'd fit within his skin." She paused to take in a breath when she felt the pinch of a needle entering the soft skin of her neck.

"I'll examine you thoroughly later," his tone was husky then after a moment it cleared. "Might that song also be why Mr. Crocodile had wanted you dead for a while?"

Avery giggled as her legs collapsed. She had enjoyed this trip so far.


End file.
